When the nosebleed stopped, he turned back to look at Feifei, but unfortunately there was nothing wrong with her.
"Don't look at her, it's all in vain," Li Guanniao said with a smile, "We are all wearing anti-pervert coats. Haha, you ancient people are not used to these things yet, come on, take them off."
"Well, cough...ah." Xiang Xiaoqiang took off his glasses with a blushing face.
Jia Guwen put it back on again with a lewd smile on his face and slipped under the table.
"How are you doing, Mr. Xiang?" Li Guanniao asked him with a smile.
"Where can I buy this...?"
Li Guanniao frowned:
"It's not for sale anywhere. Mr. Xiang, I'm asking, do you believe that our time travel agency really exists?"
"Oh... this..." Xiaoqiang held the paper cup and looked at the water swirling in it, murmuring, "How can I put it... with such a pair of glasses, you make me believe so many absurd things...
…I’m highly educated…What can glasses prove? It’s nothing more than a perspective function…Don’t we also have X-rays now? Also, the baggage checker at the train station can also see the contents of the bag through the fabric.
This... this one is just a little smaller. What if, which laboratory did you steal it from?"
Li Guanniao fell into the chair again. He weakly pointed at Xiang Xiaoqiang and said helplessly to Feifei:
"what to do?"
Feifei still smiled and said softly:
"People in ancient times are very normal, very normal, come on..."
"Okay," Li Guanniao stood up from the table, picked up his cell phone, and dialed the number again, "I'm willing to risk it all! I had known that the application was from the 19th century. I thought people in the 21st century understood science and would accept it easily!...
Hello, the head office? Who is there, Old Ding? Oh, Boss Ding, you are the best. My brother is in trouble, please help me!... Yes, help me contact Sister Cao from the prehistoric branch... Yes
, tell them to send a dinosaur over."
"Pfft--" Xiang Xiaoqiang spurted out all the water.
"...I know that thing is not easy to handle, so I asked you to coordinate! I am not familiar with her,...I have no choice, brother is waiting for help! After signing this client, I ask you to time travel...don't you
Knowing that my client is like..." He glanced at Xiang Xiaoqiang, "It's like... Well, probably only dinosaurs can shock him... Smaller ones? Smaller ones won't work, he will definitely have to be smaller ones.
It's a lizard... Hey, don't be helpless. What should I do if you can't help me? Hey, Old Ding! You did such a good job in the first half of the damn year, why don't you help the brothers!"
Xiang Xiaoqiang looked at Li Guanniao, who was about to cry, and felt compassion. In fact, he believed it when he put on his glasses and saw naked people all over the street. He was whining there mainly because he wanted to see
Let's see if they have something more "enjoyable". Besides, he was unhappy with the way Li Guanniao tricked him into coming here, and wanted to take this opportunity to make things difficult for this guy. But it seemed that Li Guanniao was really anxious.
, if this kid really gets a Tyrannosaurus rex and runs rampant all over the streets here, this is no joke.
"Then what, I believe it... Hey, I said, I believe it, isn't it okay?"
Fifilara, who was still shouting at Li Guanniao Xiuxi, whispered on the phone:
"Hey, he believed it. Hey, he believed it."
"Oh, do you believe it?" Li Guanniao put away the phone, "Just believe it."
He immediately put on a smile, sat down again, quickly took out a stack of printed matter from his bag, and pushed it in front of Xiang Xiaoqiang:
"Then let's choose the route."
There are so many lines. It really covers every era from several thousand years BC to several thousand years AD. There are hundreds of dazzling single pages, and Feifei introduces them endlessly.
"I think this is better," Li Guanniao stopped Feifei, "Mr. Xiang, let's confirm first, do you like to travel to the past or the future?"
"Ah...haha...in the future, can you marry a lot of wives?"
"Well, in this case," Li Guanniao picked up the second half of the single page and pushed it aside, "it would be better for us to go back to the past."
"Well, okay," Li Guanniao picked up the top one, "Let's confirm it again... This, is it possible that you would like to travel back to the end of the Neolithic Age in 5000 BC? Well, that was the Yellow Emperor's War
The period of Chi You."
Asked Xiaoqiang:
"Can I have a lot of wives at that time?"
Li Guanniao smiled and said:
"I am very sure of that."
"Hmm...but where can I end up?"
Li Guanniao scratched his head:
"This, the tribal leader, is equivalent to the village chief."
Xiaoqiang shook his head simply:
"No, I don't want to go back to the primitive tribe and become the village chief."
"Well, okay, okay, let's pick again... Also, the period from 1949 to 2050 will not be considered..."
"Hey, wait, why?"
Li Guanniao rolled his eyelids and said in a long voice:
"No-why-what...the system is under maintenance."
Feifei added very gently:
"And you can't have a lot of wives either."
"Ah, that's true."
"Okay, let's put it simply, Mr. Xiang, in the remaining thousands of years, which era do you prefer?"
"Tomorrow." Xiaoqiang said simply.
"Why?"
"No reason, I just like Ming Dynasty."
Li Guanniao shook his head and smiled:
"Mr. Xiang, you have to be more serious about this matter. Just because the novel you are reading is set in the Ming Dynasty, you cannot easily decide to go to the Ming Dynasty. This is not a day or two. It is a day here, and it is a journey in the past.
If you travel for five days every year, you will have to stay there for five years. So you must think clearly."
"Ah?!" Xiaoqiang opened his mouth wide, "That's it..."
He held his head and thought for a while, then raised his head and said:
"It's still tomorrow."
"Can you tell me the reason?"
"Because," Xiaoqiang's eyes radiated with excitement, "The Ming Dynasty was the last period of China's feudal society. All kinds of feudal ideas, ethics and morals have reached their peak. In other words, Chinese women in this era have
When you reach the stage where you are the most docile, docile, and virtuous, and are most deeply influenced by the three obediences and four virtues, and you are the most unwilling to fight back or change your words. As long as you touch their hands or kiss their lips, they will not marry you, so it is very easy to get started.
Easy. What is even more commendable is that according to precious historical records such as "Jin Ping Mei", women in this period could go out of the hall and enter the kitchen. As the saying goes, they were noble ladies in the living room, clever wives in the kitchen, and good wives in bed.
…”
There was a crisp "pop" sound, interrupting his yy. The pen in Feifei's hand had been broken into two pieces.
Xiaoqiang glanced at this woman who seemed to be on the eve of going crazy, and swallowed the next words.
"In that case," Li Guanniao smiled slightly, "why didn't you choose the Qing Dynasty? The Qing Dynasty was the last period of China's feudal society."
"Because of the shape of my hair, I would probably be chopped off as soon as I showed up there. If I had to spend a year and a half growing my braids, I would only have five years in total, thank you! Besides," Xiaoqiang said with a smile, "
Manchus and Han people don't intermarry, so if I want to marry a princess, I probably won't be able to."
"Alas," Li Guanniao sighed, shook his head, and wrote a few words on the paper, "Okay, Ming Dynasty. What are you good at next?"
"Go online."
"...Besides surfing the Internet?"
"play games."
…
"Pa", another pen broke, this time it was in Li Guanniao's hand.
Feifei added very gently:
"That is, can you write calligraphy, can you speak classical Chinese, can you lead troops in war, etc."
"Well... I don't know calligraphy. I have read a few pieces of classical Chinese literature, but I have forgotten them all. But when it comes to fighting... hehe, my game is not in vain."
Li Guanniao came to the spirit:
"What games do you play?"
"Well, "Suicide Squad", "Medal of Honor", "Call of Duty", "Big Sea", "Submarine Hunt"..."
Li Guanniao fell into the chair again, weakly pointed at Xiang Xiaoqiang, and said helplessly to Feifei:
"what to do?"
Feifei's eyes lit up and she asked Xiang Xiaoqiang:
"So, you know a lot about modern military?"
"Yes, it's mainly from the World War II period. I'm a huge military fan."
Li Guanniao was stunned:
"You don't want him to travel back in time to the Anti-Japanese War, do you? That period of history is under maintenance and is not open to the public for the time being."
"That's not true." Feifei whispered in Li Guanniao's ear for a while.
"Ah? Wasn't that parallel space destroyed by your time travel?" Li Guanniao became furious when he heard this, and reprimanded in a low voice, "What a good thing you did... Last Valentine's Day, I treated you to a treat."
Time travel, it turns out that you chose a troubled time in the late Ming and early Qing Dynasties, and you still possessed Princess Changping... On the day Li Zicheng broke the city, Chongzhen came to chop you with his sword. It's just that you didn't let him chop you properly, and you still took it.
I chopped him to death with a sword... You made me come back to treat guests and buy cigarettes, and then I dealt with the investigators from the Space-Time Administration... Well, if you can practice some magical skills, I can be your one-armed god.
Ni, that's all. You actually escaped from Beijing, joined the small imperial court of Nanming, and seduced Zheng Chenggong. The two of them used all kinds of dirty tricks to take back half of the country in the south of the Yangtze River... I usually think you are very well-behaved.
, how come you are so capable of traveling through the past?... As for you girls, being a princess or the eldest princess is already very enjoyable. You actually... actually... actually... after Zheng Chenggong died, you established yourself as the queen.
The reign name is 'Changping', and a group of old ministers who opposed it were sent to Yunnan and Guizhou to support education in the west... I asked you what on earth are you thinking? That is history, do you know?"
Feifei lowered her head and tried her best to hold back her laughter, and whispered:
"I learned it all from Sister Cao... Sister Cao traveled to the Tang Dynasty last time and possessed Wu Meiniang in Li Shimin's harem. She later became her own queen, isn't it okay... She was still trapped in time and space during that period.
The approval from the Administration Bureau counts as official history... Why is this part of my story invalid..."
"What's the matter? Didn't you see that Sister Cao was demoted to the prehistoric branch to raise dinosaurs? Besides, although she became a queen, the general trend of history was not disrupted. When you became a queen, you created a confrontation between the north and the south in China and long-term division.
The Headquarters sent several groups of engineers across the country to make repairs, and launched many wars there. The Ming Dynasty also tried to attack the Qing Dynasty, and the Qing Dynasty also tried to attack the Ming Dynasty. It was not unified until the 1930s, and it was about to have an impact.
The anti-Japanese themed area after 1937 was abandoned only when there was no other way.
"Besides, Wu Zetian's reign as empress was not invalidated not because of her, but because her husband Tang Gaozong traveled through time and space as the brother-in-law of Director Sun of the Time and Space Administration. Of course, that period cannot be invalidated. At that time, Director Sun said: This will not be the case next time. So.
You see, there won’t be any queens in Chinese history, right? You can do it if you don’t take the leader’s word for granted. If you don’t invalidate it, who will invalidate it? If you were the director’s sister-in-law or something, you might be able to do it, but you’re not the one.”
Feifei muttered quietly:
"Hmph... If I were the director's sister-in-law, it would be your turn to invite me to time travel on Valentine's Day..."
"What did you say?"
"No, I mean, what should I do now? Does my idea work?"
"Alas, after all, this parallel space has been seriously distorted! It's a bit... to fool customers with this kind of deformed history..."
Feifei blinked:
"Everyone has their own preferences for radish and cabbage, what if it suits his taste? Besides, isn't the company calling on everyone to save costs? That period of history is waste, and it can be considered waste utilization. Anyway, he has never traveled through time before,
I don’t understand either.”
"Never treat customers as fools," Li Guanniao said in a low and serious voice. "If you don't understand now, if you travel to the past and find something wrong, won't he complain? If he complains to customer service, our bonuses, our car and food allowances...
…”
Suddenly he lowered his voice excitedly:
"Yes, use that trick to ensure that he doesn't complain..."
Feifei was cold for no reason: "Which move?"
Li Guanniao's eyes shone brightly and he said very authentically:
"Didn't he want to marry a lot of wives? In the evening, we went to the administrator's computer room to 'manage' the male-female ratio parameter in this period of time and space. It was adjusted from the original 5:5 to 0:10, and it was adjusted to a female country, with one male
No. He is not like a mouse falling into a rice vat. He is just a man. As long as he is willing, he can marry all the women in the country. Hum, it is too late to feel happy, why are you still complaining?"
Feifei opened her mouth wide and looked at him in horror. After a moment she said anxiously:
"No, we will be fired!...Besides, if you adjust like this, the customer will...will die!"
"It's okay, this piece of history has been scrapped, and no one cares about how to adjust it. Hehehe, then adjust it less, how about 1:9? At least it is a bit of a competitor."
"Can't!"
"That 2:8."
"no, sorry!"
"Then 3:7, it cannot be less, otherwise it will be the same as being out of tune. Okay, I make the decision, this matter is settled."
Li Guanniao coughed, sat upright again, and said to Xiaoqiang with a smile on his face:
"Mr. Xiang, let's confirm whether you have a good understanding of the military and historical trends in the 1930s and 1940s. At the same time, you have a soft spot for traditional Chinese women represented by the Ming Dynasty. You hope to have sex with one or more
What about them starting a family?"
"What's the meaning?"
Feifei added:
"It means marrying a lot of wives."
Xiaoqiang said quickly:
"Yes, that's what it means."
"Very good, I would like to recommend to you our company's specially designed combination travel package for customers like you! Dangdangdangdang-" Li Guanniao extended his hand to Feifei, "...Hey, that period of history
Woolen cloth?"
"History..." Feifei scratched her head and looked around, "Where did history go..."
"Hey, don't be joking," Li Guanniao whispered, "don't tell me that it has been put into the shredder."
"Probably not yet..."
The two of them stuck their butts out and rummaged around for a while. Finally, Feifei let out a cry of joy under the table, picked up the plastic bag containing the leftover snack box from lunch, pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from it, and placed it on the table.
"Fuck..." Xiaoqiang watched with disgust as they flattened the paper, used paper towels to absorb the soup on it, and then flicked off the rice grains and leeks. He howled, waved his limbs towards Xiaoqiang and fell into the infinity.
in the darkness.
…
"Oh, it's broken! I remembered it!" On the returning time shuttle, Feifei was suddenly shocked.
"What's wrong?"
“Isn’t the time and space after 1937 an anti-Japanese themed area?”
"Yes. What's wrong?"
"What year did we throw him into?"
"Ah..." Li Guanniao was also speechless.
"Oh my god, what should we do? We still have him at the end of 1935, and we only have one and a half years until July 7, 1937!"
"Oh, that's it," Li Guanniao scratched the back of his head, "There's no other way, then I can only pick him up in a year and a half, and at most I can refund the money for the three and a half years. Haha, I just don't know what happens in a year and a half.
Not enough time for him to marry a lot of wives."
Feifei was extremely anxious:
"It can't be that simple! You won't be able to get it back in a year and a half!"
"Why? Well, I'm not familiar with these technical issues. Please explain them to me."
"Because what we asked him to go to was not standard history, but scrapped history. In standard history, the Ming Dynasty perished in 1644, followed by the Qing Dynasty, the Republic of China, and the July 7th Incident and the outbreak of the Anti-Japanese War. The history before and after was a smooth transition, so
Even on July 7, 1937, he could easily enter the Anti-Japanese theme area. In the parallel space he went to, due to the coexistence of the Ming and Qing Dynasties, it was a Ming Dynasty-themed area until 1937, but then it suddenly became an Anti-Japanese theme area.
In the theme area, the two paragraphs are completely incompatible, so on July 7, 1937, it will be impossible to pass!"
"Ah...ah...what will happen if we can't make it through?"
There was a look of fear in Feifei's eyes:
"It will be like ice water hitting boiling oil - a big explosion, an earth-shattering explosion, destroying everything!"
Li Guanniao was stunned:
"All destroyed?"
"Total destruction! As long as there are things that exist in that parallel world, no matter the Qing Dynasty or Ming Dynasty, heaven and earth, land and sea, everything will disappear with a loud noise, not even the scum will be left."
"But...but that's just the parallel world he went to that will be destroyed. Are we okay?"
"Yeah, that's bad enough!"
Li Guanniao scratched his head quickly:
"Can't we bring him back before 1937?"
"There is no way. Under normal circumstances, if you want to pick someone up in advance, you have to go to the Time and Space Administration to apply for emergency termination of the contract. However, the scrapping history has been deleted from the system there. This is considered a private and illegal operation, so we can only
Wait until the contract expires. But, before it expires, he will be bombed to death!"
Li Guanniao’s face was also sweating:
"Is it possible that there won't be an explosion on July 7, 1937?"
Feifei thought for a long time and said hesitantly:
"Yes, there is, but it's the same as nothing."
"What is it?"
"Those who travel through the past must at least restore China to a unified state before July 7, 1937. In this way, after this date, history can barely continue."
"Why...why must China be restored to a unified state so that history can continue?"
"Because in real history, by the time of the July 7th Incident, China had ended the warlord era, and what Japan invaded was a unified China. Therefore, in this period of time-travel history, what Japan invaded must also be a unified China. Otherwise,
If so, by July 7, 1937, history will be broken."
"Oh my God..." Li Guanniao weakly leaned against the bulkhead, "That's something that the administration has sent several groups of war experts to do, but it's something that even several groups of war experts sent by the administration have failed to accomplish... That Xiaoqiang, do you think it took him a year and a half?"
The possibility of reunifying China is..."
Feifei said with a look of despair:
"zero."
…
"In short, this matter is known by heaven and earth, you know it and I know it, and no other person knows it."
After returning to the stall at the entrance of the park, Li Guanniao whispered to Feifei.
"But..." Feifei said timidly, "Xiaoqiang still knows..."
"Xiaoqiang..." Li Guanniao's eyes shone with a cold light, and he crushed a cockroach on the ground with his kick, "Humph, Xiaoqiang is already dead."