[Said before: I know how to write the main text, but today my hands were itchy so I wrote the Li Fei extra chapter. It won’t be too long, about 20,000 to 30,000 words. I hope you all like it.
I have said before that this extra story actually has little connection with the main text. It is simply because I wanted to write such a story.
In it, Concubine Li's personality is very different, but some are the same as the original text. For example, the queen designed Concubine Li to enter the cold palace, for example, Concubine Li had a miscarriage, the queen had a miscarriage, and the emperor once loved Concubine Li very much.
Anyway, take a look, I’ve been updating the extras for Concubine Li in the past few days, and I’ll probably finish it tomorrow.
Then I will start the main text. I will adjust it a bit and write it to 1 million words. I am really a little tired.]
After waiting for a lifetime, loving for a lifetime, hurting for a lifetime, and feeling pain for a lifetime, if I had the subconscious mind to do so, Hongye, I just wish I had never met you.
*
That night five years ago, at the door of Tangli Palace, Zixia sat in the same posture and looked up at the moonlight outside.
The moonlight at that time was soft, with the warmth of a spring night, and crickets had already begun to chirp in the grass. She irritably accused the palace maid of not stopping him from going to the Queen's Palace the next day because he had missed the appointment the night before.
In the palace, the queen lost her temper and refused to see him. She let him put down his airs and begged for a long time, but refused to let the palace maid let him in.
On this night five years later, the same palace, the same doorway, the same sitting posture, the only thing that was different was her.
The full moon in the sky has a red and yellow halo as big as a copper coin, like a teardrop falling on the Duoyunxuan letter, old and blurry.
And the memories of these five years, to her, are like the fallen flowers from the peach blossom tree right in front of her. They are very clear. During the five years in the cold palace, during those thousands of lonely and cold days and nights, she cherished hope from the beginning.
, to the final disappointment, to the final heartbreak, it is a long process.
In the past five years, she went from crying and hysterical at the beginning to finally becoming calm and despairing. In fact, thinking about it now, it was as if it happened yesterday. When she reached out and touched it, she could easily see the person hiding behind it.
In the corner of the cold palace, there was a figure trembling with his name in his mouth because he was afraid of the dark.
"Mom, the night breeze is still cold, so why don't you go in?"
Auntie's gentle voice sounded behind her ears. It was someone who had served her before. She had suffered a lot from her previous arrogance.
She lowered her eyes and nodded, her body no longer showing any hint of the domineering look she had in the past.
Because she knew very well in her heart that even though her title and identity had been restored, she was still a woman who had been relegated to the sidelines and had her titles deposed.
No matter how favored she was five years ago, things would have changed and people would have changed.
She was cautious, fearing that she might not be able to confirm the truth a little bit and be thrown into that terrible, cold place again.
Now, she doesn't expect anything. She just wants to spend the rest of her life quietly and protect her family's safety.
She has never seen her father again since he was paralyzed by a gangster. If she has any other wish now, it is to take a look at her father and her family.
But she knew that he would not allow it. In his eyes, she was a completely jealous woman. She wanted to replace the queen just because of the emperor's love. She even competed with the queen who had lost her child. She pretended to be sick and did everything she could
, and even openly contradicted the queen, causing the queen to become angry and sick.
He hated her. What he liked before, her arrogance, her brutality, her arrogance, and her fearlessness in doing whatever she wanted, now became the reasons why he hated her.
Times have changed, and during the five years she was in the cold palace, he took in concubines twice. Now the harem is full, and there are many people who are more favored than she was back then, and she is even more insignificant.
And she actually didn't care anymore.
As Grandma got up, her feet were numb from sitting for a long time, and she sprained a little. Grandma hurriedly came over to help her.
She quickly stood up straight, as if she couldn't bear the kindness of her mother-in-law.
In the years since she was deposed, she has become as humble as a palace maid. She has seen too many indifferent faces in the palace, so much so that she is cautious in her words and deeds, just for fear that if she offends one of them, she will suffer a physical ordeal.
The last person who beat her seemed to be a palace maid delivering magic. She couldn't remember her name, and she didn't want to seek revenge.
This is the palace. In the past, she suppressed people, and then people suppressed her. But the suppression comes again and again, but it is actually meaningless. Nothing can compare to having enough food, clothing, and warmth, and living a good life.
Grandma saw that she was avoiding her support in fear, and she stood up straight holding the doorknob, with tears in her eyes.
"Empress, please help me!"
"Haha, no need, it's okay. Aunt Wu, you can go to sleep too. You don't have to wait on me. I can do it myself."
"Empress..."
"Really, I can do it. You can just go down and sleep. By the way, Nanny Wu, you don't have to get up early to help me get up tomorrow. I can actually do it by myself. I have been used to doing these things alone in the cold palace for these years."
, grandma is taking care of me, but I feel uncomfortable, haha."
Even to a villain, she carefully kept a smile on her face, her humility seeping into her bones.
When Grandma Wu heard this, she sighed deeply and said, "Master, just use your servants as you did before."
"Haha!" She just smiled faintly and held on to the door frame to go in. Suddenly, there was a burst of chaotic footsteps at the door. Seeing Aunt Wu kneeling down, she shouted in fear: "Your Majesty, good luck."
She was startled, but quickly turned around, knelt on the ground, and saluted: "Good luck to your Majesty."
Not far away, a man in a golden dragon robe looked down at her kneeling on the ground, with a bit of displeasure in his eyes.
"I heard that you went to see the Queen today?"
She was startled and knelt down even lower: "It was the Queen who ordered someone to invite the slave to come over."
He raised his eyebrows: "You'd better remember me, Liu Zixia, that I can restore your position, but I can also destroy you again. If you dare to offend the Queen again, I can even kill you."
She shrank her shoulders fearfully and humbly replied: "I don't dare."
This self-proclaimed name made him a little displeased. He glanced at Aunt Wu next to her. Aunt Wu hurriedly said with trepidation: "I have just come back. You may be a little unaccustomed to it. I will urge you to correct it."
Her face was almost buried in the ground. It was no longer like before, where she could look up unscrupulously in front of him, who was so high above him, and playfully play with the silk bag on his crown.
If she didn't dare, he wouldn't allow it either.
Kneeling humbly on the ground, she didn't even dare to look at his face. As a man who could kill her and her family at any time, she no longer dared to be presumptuous.
"Liu Zixia, the queen's birthday is in two days. You don't need to bother preparing anything. You don't need to go."
"Yes, Your Majesty!"
She answered respectfully, but his thick eyebrows frowned even more displeased.
I heard from the servants that she seemed to be a changed person after she came back from the cold palace. She obviously restored her noble status, but in front of her servants and servants, she was as humble as a poor common woman.
I even heard that the meal sent to her in the morning was too much and she couldn't finish it, so she kept it until noon. In the evening, she drank cold porridge all day long.
This news was originally insignificant, but it made him inexplicably irritated, causing him to involuntarily step through the gate of Tangli Palace tonight.
Everything in Tangli Palace remains as usual. He has not let anyone move in in the past five years, but it is not because this is the place where she has lived, but because Tangli Palace is next to the Queen's palace. The Queen has become very ill in the past few years after the death of her son.
It's not good, she doesn't want anyone to bother her.
As for why he allowed her to live in Tangli Palace again after restoring her status, it was because he expected that she didn't have the guts to mess with the queen again.
At that time, a woman thought she was innocent, cute, and pretty, so she favored her. Unexpectedly, she didn't know what the world was, and when he was immersed in the pain of losing his son, she tried all kinds of tricks to deceive him.
He went to her palace and even secretly slandered the queen that she was not destined to have a child in order to compete with the queen.
Full of resentment, he originally wanted to hear her refute the rumors in person and say that those rumors were false and that someone was deliberately trying to put the blame on her, but she went away and admitted that there was nothing wrong with them one by one. It was the greatest mercy on his part not to expose her on the spot.
.
After five years, I think she should learn to be good and know what she can afford and what she can't even dream of wanting.
He wanted her to understand what she deserved and what she didn't deserve, but he didn't make her humble and humiliate her status in front of all the servants.
"Everyone, step back."
He shouted coldly, and the eunuchs and maids around him all retreated. She was still lying on the ground, her forehead pressed to the ground, and even her entire upper body pressed against the ground. He frowned even more tightly.
"stand up."
"Thank you, Your Majesty!"
She stood up carefully, but because her feet had not recovered from the numbness she had just been sitting on, she knelt for a long time, unable to stand firm for a while, and even staggered.
He instinctively stretched out his hand.
But what she chose was the doorframe far behind her.
During these five years in the cold palace, she had no one to rely on but herself.
She was used to it, used to being alone, used to not relying on anyone anymore.
His hand fell free, his face tightened slightly, and he retracted his hand calmly. She stood firm, fearfully let go of the door frame, and knelt down again: "Your Majesty, please forgive me, slave, I can't stand firm."
She had never been so fearful and cautious.
In the past, she was so bold that she almost climbed over him, and so arrogant that she never looked down upon anyone in the palace.
Now, every move she makes is cautious and full of fear. Her downcast face shows no sign of expression.
But it’s definitely not that he won’t be any less domineering than before.
He suddenly felt irritable and boring.
"Eunuch Mo, the prodigal Green Garden Palace, go to the Green Concubine."
"Yes, Your Majesty!"
A group of people hurried in to wait on him.
As soon as he left, she fell to the ground as if her soul had been extracted. That back, that familiar back, she could hold his face blatantly before, but now, she couldn't even look at his back.
Be so careful.
Her eyes were a little sour, but she didn't let the tears fall.
It's over, it's all over, she won't provoke the queen anymore, she will be peaceful, and he won't come back again.
Yes, he will not come again, and she does not want to have anything to do with him anymore.
The title of Concubine Li used to bring her honor and glory, but now it brings her only oppression.
If she had a choice, she would rather give him a free path, whether it is to become a nickname or to be exiled to the frontier, it is better than to be imprisoned in this square and four corners of the sky, without even a chance to think about it in this life.
*
On the day of the Queen's birthday, the emperor ordered her not to attend. There were people singing and dancing outside, but Tangli Palace was unusually deserted.
She went to bed early, planted some vegetables in the yard during the day, and went to bed when she was tired.
When Nanny Wu hurriedly called her up, she was dreaming, a not too bad dream. In the dream, she had grown a pair of wings, flew in the air, and circled around the entrance of his palace, without flying into the tight space.
Closed door.
Faintly smiling at the closed door, she fluttered her wings and headed outside the palace, hovering over her home. Just as she was about to go down to see if her family was okay, Nanny Wu woke up anxiously.
she.
"My queen, my queen, wake up quickly."
"Well!"
She made a sleepy sound and turned around: "What's the matter, mama?"
"Your Majesty, hurry up and change your clothes. The Queen has asked you to come over!"
She was startled and hurriedly got up from the bed.
In the past, she had never taken the queen seriously, and she even thought that because of her favor at that time, the position of queen was just something in her pocket.
Now, even when the queen coughed, she no longer dared to raise her head and look directly at him. That man made her understand the difference between favor and love.
Aunt Wu helped her change into clothes, but when she was about to put on makeup, she stopped her.
She didn't dare to put on makeup. When she went to the Queen's Palace that day, the Queen made it clear that if she dared to seduce the Emperor again, she would naturally have the deliberate means to send her into the cold palace, and she would never be wanted out again in this life.
.
She didn't want to go back to that cold, cold place, where every crack in the winter was filled with biting ice. She had only one simple wish, she just wanted to live.
The old red clothes were all worn by her five years ago. After she was released, the Queen ordered the Ministry of Internal Affairs not to buy new clothes for her. Even some of the bright clothes in her kitchen were replaced by the Emperor the day she moved them out.
Aunt Cui in the harem was also burned.
Now there were only a few old clothes left. She didn't want to be too rude on such a festive day, so she let Aunt Gui pick up a pair of peach pink clothes that were not old and new. The cuffs of the clothes were frayed, and she also
I don’t remember when she had such a dress. It must have been worn by some unfavored young master, and the queen collected it for her.
It's okay, at least it can cover the body, and at least it can warm up.
At least it's much more comfortable than the dirty and shabby linen clothes in the cold palace.
She has no extravagant desires, no greed, and no more arrogance.
Step by step, be careful at every step, at the palace banquet, singing and dancing, the newly favored Green Concubine, wearing a long emerald dress, sober and natural, with a newly bloomed peony on her head, red lips and pink and white,
She has a pretty face and sits in the most prominent position among the concubines. She feels so proud, and her every move and gesture exudes a domineering and domineering aura.
Just like she was back then.
Not daring to look any further, she lowered her eyes and went in. A palace maid went to report to the queen. She quietly found a less conspicuous place to sit. Feeling the queen's gaze on her, she lowered her eyebrows and lowered her head in a meek manner.
low.
The queen had a sneer on her lips, not looking at her, and continued to joke quietly with the princess beside her.
Zixia is sitting next to the inner woman, surrounded by young and beautiful faces. On the dance floor, the dancer has a slender waist, graceful dancing posture, white skin and tender hands, and slender fingers.
Once upon a time, her dancing was not bad. On the Queen's birthday, in order to steal the spotlight from the Queen, she bribed Kui Ling, a performer in the troupe, to arrange one of her phoenix dances in the performance. In the name of congratulating the Queen on her birthday, it was
I want to attract all his attention on the Queen's birthday.
She was undoubtedly successful, but around that time, she became a thorn in the Queen's side and a thorn in her flesh.
But she thought he loved her so much that he would forgive her no matter what mistakes she made. Especially after her child was lost, he loved her and cherished her even more...
The past passes by like smoke.
The chimes rang, and the dancers on the dance floor suddenly withdrew one after another. Amidst the brisk chime sounds, a touch of greenery suddenly rose from the ground and landed steadily in the middle of the dance floor. She raised her head and glanced, full of that elegance.
The green concubine who was walking forward did not know when she took off her fresh green dress. Now she is wearing a peach red flowing gauze dress. The injuries are two long and graceful ribbons. With the crisp sound of the chimes,
On the dance floor, spin and dance.
Such a familiar scene, but she didn't dare to look at it. She lowered her eyes. In this world that obviously no longer belonged to her, she was just like a candle in the lobby. It didn't matter whether she was there or not.
She stood up quietly and quietly walked out of the side door. She may not know that a pair of black eyes had actually noticed her presence as early as the moment she came in. The coquettish red color in her shameless face danced again.
How light and nimble, the only thing that caught his eyes was her quietly leaving figure.
The air outside was indeed much better, and she felt much more relaxed.
She didn't dare to go too far. Since the queen asked her to come, she might be asked to go back later. She told the palace maid who had just brought her here that she would walk in the garden in front. If the queen asked her to come to her again, she would come back immediately.
She said it politely and in a condescending tone.
The palace maid was blessed and said hello. When she saw her turning around and leaving, she stepped forward and handed a cloak to her hand.
"It's still cold, please don't catch a cold."
Her eyes suddenly became wet. For so many years, she had cried from the first to the last without shedding a single tear. But now, because of such a strange caring, her eyes filled with tears.
In that hell-like place, there was only abuse, suppression, schadenfreude and contempt. She had not felt such pure care in a long time.
"Thank you!"
She choked.
The palace maid was startled and smiled slightly: "Go, my queen. The queen is looking for you, so I will call you."
I hugged my cloak and left. The night wind was indeed a bit cold, and I shed two tears.
She wiped it off in a hurry, not wanting people to see her crying on the Queen's birthday. She was so timid that she was even afraid of crying.
To the east of Suishou Hall is a small garden. She rarely came here before because the garden was too small to reflect her grandeur.
She always loved to go to the Imperial Garden. During the flowering season, she would break off all the red peonies that the Queen liked. Then she would have them sent to Tangli Palace to pick off the petals one by one, or randomly crush them as paint.
She could play with it, or spread the petals slowly into the well. She actually also liked peonies, they were graceful and noble, but because she knew that the queen loved red peonies the most, she spoiled red peonies in a different way.
Today, it is the season when peonies bloom. Under the night light, a small patch of peonies is planted in the small garden. The lights are dim and the flowers have lost their original colors. The white ones are dyed warm yellow, and the red ones are dyed orange. She
Reaching out his hand, his fingertips gently slid over the plump petals.
Peony, peony, there is only one peony in the cold palace, but it has not bloomed in five years.
It had been a long time since she had seen such bright and beautiful flowers.
Behind her, there was the sound of footsteps. She shrank to the side of the road, lowered her head like a slave, put her hands on her chest, her movements were familiar, as if she had done it thousands or tens of thousands of times.
When the golden dragon-patterned shoes stood before her eyes, she trembled slightly. She knew who it was. There was only one person in this palace who could embroider the dragon pattern with gold thread.
She couldn't help but feel a little scared.
"Your Majesty, good luck."
She knelt down. Because she didn't dare to get close, she took a few steps back before kneeling down. Her knees fell on the soil outside the path. The wet soil that had been poured with water seeped into her knees, and the coolness was given to her knees.
It hurts.
This is a disease that fell into the cold palace. It was cold in the cold palace. In winter, the wind whistling from all directions almost swallowed her up.
There was no charcoal pot, no heater, and even to get a sip of hot water, one had to beg in every possible way from the servant who delivered the meal.
The one who took care of her before was finally nice and was willing to bring her some clothes from home.
But later on, the young girl was very mean. Not only did she not mention her clothes, she even withheld the quilts issued by the Ministry of Internal Affairs. A dark quilt and several tattered clothes made every joint on her body wet.
Cold water or cold weather can cause pain like ants biting you.
Now she was kneeling on the wet soil on a humid spring night. The cold water seeped into her knees, causing a dull pain. She bit down on the roots, her shoulders were pressed so low that her head almost hit the ground.
"stand up!"
He gave the order, and she stood up in fear. The pain in her knees made her unable to stand still.
He still instinctively stretched out his hand, but what she grabbed was the branch of the peony behind her. She heard the snapping sound of the branch and saw the displeasure flashing in his eyes.
She lowered her head in fear: "I didn't mean it, I just..."
"Do you think I will scold you for a peony?"
"Concubine..."
"Zixia!" How long has it been since he called her this?
After a long time, she has long forgotten.
She said nothing, feeling panicked in her heart.
In the past, his intimacy would make her feel proud, but now he calls her such an affectionate name, but it only makes her uneasy.
"The dance that Green Concubine danced just now was not as good as what you danced back then."
She was startled, but he still remembered.
However, she no longer dared to be arrogant.
"Thank you for the compliment, Your Majesty."
Her flattered tone made him unhappy. If she were the same girl as before, she shouldn't have raised her head and said matter-of-factly: "Of course, my dancing is unparalleled in the world."
"come here!"
She held the cloak and walked over carefully step by step. His hand suddenly grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into his arms: "Do you know why I want to pardon you?"
Such close contact only made her heart unable to beat because of the pressure. She wanted to escape. She couldn't bear such an embrace.
He lifted her up to the sky and trampled her into the ground. She might not have another five years in her life to suffer in the cold palace. The queen's warning sounded in her ears like a Rakshasa order.
"If you dare to seduce the emperor again, I have a thousand ways to get you in again."
Yes, back then, the queen did not hesitate to spread such rumors, saying that in order to win favor, she scolded the queen behind her back for being a woman who could not raise children.
The queen was very good at seizing the opportunity, and she spread such rumors when the emperor cherished her the most and the emperor was experiencing the pain of losing his son.
The woman she always wanted to replace, in fact, she still lost in the end.
What she loses is not the means. She also has a lot of means. She never loses in competitions for favor and beauty.
What she lost was that she overestimated Hongye's love. Back then, she stubbornly believed that it should be love.
She couldn't afford to lose anymore. If she went in again, she might want to see her family, but they could only meet on the road to hell.
"I don't know."
She stepped back cautiously, but after leaving a little distance, she was pulled into his arms again.
"That's because there is no other woman in this world who dares to be as arrogant and arrogant as you. But you are boring to me now. I might as well send you in again."
Clearly, she could feel her body shrinking.
He frowned and pushed her away impatiently.
"Seeing you makes me feel disgusted. Therefore, wherever I appear in the future, you will not be allowed to appear."
It doesn't hurt anymore. Sure enough, my heart doesn't hurt anymore.
He said such hurtful words, but she didn't feel even a trace of sadness.